After a close call with Tesco's finest turkey plucker during the festive season .... we are back! but we have no been idle.... Honest!!
After a moment of red wine induced madness we are upping our distance in 2013... (that's not our volume that's our distance!)
Our latest 10K outing took place on mothering Sunday.. character building to say the least... At the start line in the sleet and snow equipped with nothing except insanity we were caught up with a couple of roosters who not only shared their running knowledge with us, they shared their best mates wife had run off with her assistant after cock a doodle doing about it turned out that was woman... the things you hear on a run!
We were lapped by the winning rooster at our half way point who crossed the line several minutes later.. rumour has it he will be checked for mad chicken disease. We kept running and kept our beaks up and crossed the line with a personal best to win a bag of free lettuce, a wagon wheel and a banana and not forgetting our bling.
We were cheered on by numerous hens and the local constabulary who were sat in their cars with their warm clothes and bacon butties, but at least we earned our bacon butties.
Training underway with only 5 weeks left until the 13.1 Mile (its all about the point 1 ) up hill struggle run, snow has set us back and its hard to run with frozen drumsticks and new trainers have had to be purchased and are still in the box! we don't want to get them dirty.
All burgers and butties mentioned in this post are 100% horse free.
Thursday, 28 March 2013
Thursday, 20 September 2012
The Great Escape!!!
We were last seen taking part in a covert operation for the PLF (Paxo liberation front) which sadly went wrong and after a close brush with a pie machine we are captured and given 6 months of cage time but after keeping our beaks clean we've been released early on Sunday, So once more we can update you on our clucking lives.....
While we've been away we've tried our best to keep up our weekly running target of 10miles, that's no easy feat when your in a 6inch cage but we've done our best, On Tuesday we decided we had to test the leg muscles and with the wind in our feathers we clocked up a eggtraordinary 15miles in less than 2 hours, we couldn't believe it and once we'd returned to the coop we crowed about it all night. so we decided to sign ourselves up for a little race at the weekend. Yesterday saw us enter the world of Tweed and Ferrets, It was a complete eye opener for us townies playing at being land owners,it would seem everyone is everyones cousin. With a ring of bell it was time to come out fighting, with Chick1 holding aloft her number at the wrong moment we almost returned home with a crate of dead rabbits, they might have come in handy when the hatchlings need winter gloves.
One magnificent beast that took our eye was Reg...a stunning gobbler with a twizzler to be proud of unable to borrow a trailer from anyone he had to be the one that got away. I think our tattooed cousin was the winning bidder but we didn't want to hang around to find out. After a looonnnnggggg wait our time had come, the auctioneer called order and next thing we knew they'd sold...less than minimum wage for 5hrs work...we'll chalk this one up to experience and in future let the farmers play with themselves.
Thursday today making it 3 days til race day, numbers are in, T shirts are ironed and the beers in the fridge to celebrate with so we're almost ready to go. If anyone sees us then please give us a cheer it's not often you see 2 Women and a Chicken running through Walsall....well not on a Sunday anyway xx
While we've been away we've tried our best to keep up our weekly running target of 10miles, that's no easy feat when your in a 6inch cage but we've done our best, On Tuesday we decided we had to test the leg muscles and with the wind in our feathers we clocked up a eggtraordinary 15miles in less than 2 hours, we couldn't believe it and once we'd returned to the coop we crowed about it all night. so we decided to sign ourselves up for a little race at the weekend. Yesterday saw us enter the world of Tweed and Ferrets, It was a complete eye opener for us townies playing at being land owners,it would seem everyone is everyones cousin. With a ring of bell it was time to come out fighting, with Chick1 holding aloft her number at the wrong moment we almost returned home with a crate of dead rabbits, they might have come in handy when the hatchlings need winter gloves.
One magnificent beast that took our eye was Reg...a stunning gobbler with a twizzler to be proud of unable to borrow a trailer from anyone he had to be the one that got away. I think our tattooed cousin was the winning bidder but we didn't want to hang around to find out. After a looonnnnggggg wait our time had come, the auctioneer called order and next thing we knew they'd sold...less than minimum wage for 5hrs work...we'll chalk this one up to experience and in future let the farmers play with themselves.
Thursday today making it 3 days til race day, numbers are in, T shirts are ironed and the beers in the fridge to celebrate with so we're almost ready to go. If anyone sees us then please give us a cheer it's not often you see 2 Women and a Chicken running through Walsall....well not on a Sunday anyway xx
Wednesday, 13 June 2012
A DAY AT THE RACES
While some of you were still wrapped up in your duck down duvet, 2 Women and a Chicken were applying go faster stripes to our feathers and doing the chicken dance warm up ready for THE BIG RACE....
We tried hard to focus but with the very sad departure of Robbie the Rooster only days before Chick1 found it hard, she'd raised him from a egg to a fine spur of a Rooster and while others may come to roost noone will replace him...R.I.P. ROBBIE
We were totally in awe of Superman, Rupert the Bear and many other fictional characters. But Chick1 could not contain her excitement when she clapped eyes on the King himself number 5486 and quickly asked Chick2 to take photographic evidence that he was indeed still alive aha and after his hospital stay even Phillip was there to cheer us on, God Save The Queen!!!
We took to our marks along with the other 6998 and questioned "Why are we actually here" but it was too late, the Rev had said his prayer, wished us speedy legs and the starting horn was pressed, we raced around the corner, up the hill towards the hatching's and their fathers, we thought Mr Peck and Mr Cluck were waving us on but apparently they were telling us to hurry before the bacon sarnie stall sold out. 6 miles later we were still clucking strong, no one looked more surprised than Mr Peck and Mr Cluck as they threw wet sponges at us, purely for hydration purposes of course!! Shortly afterwards we were overtaken by a 2 seater sofa but we dug deep and sailed up cardiac hill after Chick1 took the toilet bush detour (as usual). With only 1 mile to go we finally made it onto the home straight with great support from the public we extended our wings and glided over the finishing line in an impressive time of 1hr 40mins..... It would have been nice for the Hatchlings to see their mothers home to roost but we're sorry to say we were too fast for them and they slowly made it nearly 20 minutes later. Our time wasn't bad considering 10k was actually 13.9K..but hey whats a few k between birds of our great stock!!!
We tried hard to focus but with the very sad departure of Robbie the Rooster only days before Chick1 found it hard, she'd raised him from a egg to a fine spur of a Rooster and while others may come to roost noone will replace him...R.I.P. ROBBIE
We were totally in awe of Superman, Rupert the Bear and many other fictional characters. But Chick1 could not contain her excitement when she clapped eyes on the King himself number 5486 and quickly asked Chick2 to take photographic evidence that he was indeed still alive aha and after his hospital stay even Phillip was there to cheer us on, God Save The Queen!!!
We took to our marks along with the other 6998 and questioned "Why are we actually here" but it was too late, the Rev had said his prayer, wished us speedy legs and the starting horn was pressed, we raced around the corner, up the hill towards the hatching's and their fathers, we thought Mr Peck and Mr Cluck were waving us on but apparently they were telling us to hurry before the bacon sarnie stall sold out. 6 miles later we were still clucking strong, no one looked more surprised than Mr Peck and Mr Cluck as they threw wet sponges at us, purely for hydration purposes of course!! Shortly afterwards we were overtaken by a 2 seater sofa but we dug deep and sailed up cardiac hill after Chick1 took the toilet bush detour (as usual). With only 1 mile to go we finally made it onto the home straight with great support from the public we extended our wings and glided over the finishing line in an impressive time of 1hr 40mins..... It would have been nice for the Hatchlings to see their mothers home to roost but we're sorry to say we were too fast for them and they slowly made it nearly 20 minutes later. Our time wasn't bad considering 10k was actually 13.9K..but hey whats a few k between birds of our great stock!!!
We love our bling...........
We have yet to decide what our next adventure will be.....anyone got any ideas?????
Tuesday, 15 May 2012
Practise DOES NOT make perfect.........
Whilst we are not chicks to embrace the 21st century we do think we may benefit from the purchase of GPS or any satellite navigation...... After our 10K trial run practise turned into our 12.8K marathon..... we admit it..... we got lost.....(shh don't tell any body!) After 2 hours of seeing the same duck pond but apparently missing the donkey sanctuary we threw in our sweat bands and headed to to the nearest Frankie and Benny's (which we don't need a sat nav to locate!)
Chick 1 has packed her bags and heading towards Sharm El Paxo.... she will have to keep her wits about her as they are in to spit roast over there.... Chick 2 is in charge of the Ark, all animals and has her cattle prod ready in case Frisky pensioner likes fresh meat whilst Chick 1 is away being stuffed and roasted.
Within only hours to Hatchling 2's birthday and the immanent arrival of Mother Goose.... Chick 1 should be scrubbing floors like Cinderella but has instead confirmed that her eyes are bigger than her car boot as she raced through the village with a willow tree hanging out of her car......Once the tree roots were freshly planted and with some negoiatation with Hatchling 2 on the relocation of his goal posts the tree firmly became a member of the family only for Mr Cluck to arrive home with the results clutched in hand of his allergy tests....... He is allergic to Willow Trees and Chicken Feathers.... Chick 1 still unsure whether to pack a bag or up root the tree.
After Chick 2 held open auditions for her holiday cover running partner.... Both Chicks retired to the pub to discuss the vital statistics of each applicant.... a candidate was selected..... Male, age 22 and fit with the body of a Buff is just a pure coincidence...... Both chicks dont understand why Mr Peck has got his wattle in a twist.....
Just over three weeks to the Great Midland Run..... Come and Give the Two Women and A Chicken a shout with a party back at the shack.........See you there!
Chick 1 has packed her bags and heading towards Sharm El Paxo.... she will have to keep her wits about her as they are in to spit roast over there.... Chick 2 is in charge of the Ark, all animals and has her cattle prod ready in case Frisky pensioner likes fresh meat whilst Chick 1 is away being stuffed and roasted.
Within only hours to Hatchling 2's birthday and the immanent arrival of Mother Goose.... Chick 1 should be scrubbing floors like Cinderella but has instead confirmed that her eyes are bigger than her car boot as she raced through the village with a willow tree hanging out of her car......Once the tree roots were freshly planted and with some negoiatation with Hatchling 2 on the relocation of his goal posts the tree firmly became a member of the family only for Mr Cluck to arrive home with the results clutched in hand of his allergy tests....... He is allergic to Willow Trees and Chicken Feathers.... Chick 1 still unsure whether to pack a bag or up root the tree.
After Chick 2 held open auditions for her holiday cover running partner.... Both Chicks retired to the pub to discuss the vital statistics of each applicant.... a candidate was selected..... Male, age 22 and fit with the body of a Buff is just a pure coincidence...... Both chicks dont understand why Mr Peck has got his wattle in a twist.....
Just over three weeks to the Great Midland Run..... Come and Give the Two Women and A Chicken a shout with a party back at the shack.........See you there!
Thursday, 3 May 2012
Chicks that lunch.....in all the wrong places!! - is there an App for that?!
This week we came to realise why chickens do not embrace 21st Century technology - not only does it leave you with a pickled egg, a council coop but also you can now track your cockerel ..... especially when they think the grass is greener...... but take note..... Bernard's shag pile is not all its cracked up to be....
Once again no one was hatched or matched this week... but dispatched to the great coop in the sky... (or the usual coffin - the great black wheelie bin)
24 hours til the big rehearsal for the Great Midland run and a personal best was reached at the beginning of the week when Chick 1 and Chick 2 did the funky chicken out of a pub and refused to pay. Both chicks are hoping for food poisoning to squeeze into their race outfits not long now and counting.
We thought we would support our fellow bird and took a trip to the food poisoning water hole in a local establishment...This rooster didn't know his limp lettuce from his shop bought Tesco value pate and left the two Chicks crowing for chocolate just to get rid of the taste. Freddo saved the day!
Beaky and Dippy are growing strong and have enjoyed two day trips to the wild outdoors whilst dodging the killer cat.
Chick 1 and Chick 2 are currently slumped on the settee and really cant be arsed..... laters!
Once again no one was hatched or matched this week... but dispatched to the great coop in the sky... (or the usual coffin - the great black wheelie bin)
24 hours til the big rehearsal for the Great Midland run and a personal best was reached at the beginning of the week when Chick 1 and Chick 2 did the funky chicken out of a pub and refused to pay. Both chicks are hoping for food poisoning to squeeze into their race outfits not long now and counting.
We thought we would support our fellow bird and took a trip to the food poisoning water hole in a local establishment...This rooster didn't know his limp lettuce from his shop bought Tesco value pate and left the two Chicks crowing for chocolate just to get rid of the taste. Freddo saved the day!
Beaky and Dippy are growing strong and have enjoyed two day trips to the wild outdoors whilst dodging the killer cat.
Chick 1 and Chick 2 are currently slumped on the settee and really cant be arsed..... laters!
Tuesday, 17 April 2012
4 Funerals and a Golden Egg
PLEASE NOTE THIS POST CONTAINS MILD PERIL AND MAY BE UPSETTING FOR SOME.
Is it really 4 weeks since we last let you peep inside the coop, HUGE apologies for the delay but the last 31 days have been somewhat mixed to say the very least. We've had highs, lows and holes in the ground!!!! Let me cast my mind back to how it all started......
Chick2 caught a very nasty case of Bird Flu just before race day and with Chick2's hatchling's all coming down with the Curse of Edwina Curry, both had to withdraw from the race and for a few days after their wattles wilted, after a good talking to by Mr Cluck and Mr Peck both bounced back and into training for the main event, 10K of pain in June. To boost their moral Mr Cluck and Mr Peck took them under their wings and decided the best thing to do was make a fire and chuck some beef on it, the first management meeting of 2 Women and a Chicken was in session, much fun was had mainly by the 2 women and the chickens took a huge sigh of relief as the BBQ was turned off, they had survived another day.
Chick2 made her usual trip to FF, and to her amazement she was rewarded with the much wanted GOLDEN EGG!!!! The loss of 5st 7lbs makes her much more nimble on her feet, She said a massive thank you to Chick1 who helped her on her way. In the meantime Chick1 decided to spice up Mr Clucks life and popped his chicken cherry which a romantic trip to the local world famous Chicken Auction (yes you've read that right a Chicken auction!!) On hearing the news Chick2 asked if he'd made the effort and washed his wattle, the reply of he's strutting his stuff and has the same alarm clock as many a rooster was a worry but at least we now know he's not the only early riser, and Chick1 got it in the back the following morning and it wasn't even Monday!!
For being such a clucking good mother Chick1 was presented with an array of hatching goodies on Mother Hen Day, an incubator, candle light and a super warming bed, no more encouragement was needed and Clucking Good Ducks Ltd was hatched. Chick1 and 2 selected 6 of the best and after setting up the incubator the eggs were settled into their new home for the next 30 days. Easter Sunday being the ducklings ETA. All the hatchlings set about selecting names while Chick1 and 2 waited and waited and waited and waited...... they even waited some more til finally Chick1 could hear a little tap tap tap (and for once it wasn't her frisky neighbour at the window) 3 ducklings hatched and slowly started to fluff up, names were given Dappy, Dippy and Beaky, they enjoyed their first swim in a washing up bowl, after only 4 days sadly Dappy flapped off to duck heaven so a hole was dug, then a much larger hole was needed only 6 hrs later as Rooster Fred did the big coop in the sky Foxtrot and kept Dappy company on their travels. RIP FRED AND DAPPY.
So that's been the past month, Chick1 and 2 are now fully into their 10k training programme, well Chick2 is, Chick1 is off to the sun and hopes to return with a full plumage.
Is it really 4 weeks since we last let you peep inside the coop, HUGE apologies for the delay but the last 31 days have been somewhat mixed to say the very least. We've had highs, lows and holes in the ground!!!! Let me cast my mind back to how it all started......
Chick2 caught a very nasty case of Bird Flu just before race day and with Chick2's hatchling's all coming down with the Curse of Edwina Curry, both had to withdraw from the race and for a few days after their wattles wilted, after a good talking to by Mr Cluck and Mr Peck both bounced back and into training for the main event, 10K of pain in June. To boost their moral Mr Cluck and Mr Peck took them under their wings and decided the best thing to do was make a fire and chuck some beef on it, the first management meeting of 2 Women and a Chicken was in session, much fun was had mainly by the 2 women and the chickens took a huge sigh of relief as the BBQ was turned off, they had survived another day.
Chick2 made her usual trip to FF, and to her amazement she was rewarded with the much wanted GOLDEN EGG!!!! The loss of 5st 7lbs makes her much more nimble on her feet, She said a massive thank you to Chick1 who helped her on her way. In the meantime Chick1 decided to spice up Mr Clucks life and popped his chicken cherry which a romantic trip to the local world famous Chicken Auction (yes you've read that right a Chicken auction!!) On hearing the news Chick2 asked if he'd made the effort and washed his wattle, the reply of he's strutting his stuff and has the same alarm clock as many a rooster was a worry but at least we now know he's not the only early riser, and Chick1 got it in the back the following morning and it wasn't even Monday!!
For being such a clucking good mother Chick1 was presented with an array of hatching goodies on Mother Hen Day, an incubator, candle light and a super warming bed, no more encouragement was needed and Clucking Good Ducks Ltd was hatched. Chick1 and 2 selected 6 of the best and after setting up the incubator the eggs were settled into their new home for the next 30 days. Easter Sunday being the ducklings ETA. All the hatchlings set about selecting names while Chick1 and 2 waited and waited and waited and waited...... they even waited some more til finally Chick1 could hear a little tap tap tap (and for once it wasn't her frisky neighbour at the window) 3 ducklings hatched and slowly started to fluff up, names were given Dappy, Dippy and Beaky, they enjoyed their first swim in a washing up bowl, after only 4 days sadly Dappy flapped off to duck heaven so a hole was dug, then a much larger hole was needed only 6 hrs later as Rooster Fred did the big coop in the sky Foxtrot and kept Dappy company on their travels. RIP FRED AND DAPPY.
So that's been the past month, Chick1 and 2 are now fully into their 10k training programme, well Chick2 is, Chick1 is off to the sun and hopes to return with a full plumage.
Friday, 16 March 2012
Upping our game.......
With the big peck just over a week to go Chick1and Chick2 gave themselves a good clucking talking to (no change there then in Chick2 case!) .. they decided to run the 5K course.....After the initial shock that the race was 4 times around the course they egged each other on.... This is no egg and spoon race Chick1 clucked out..........Chick2 developed a respiratory condition on lap 2 and both Chicks were put to shame as an old hen clucked past at 100eggs per hour saying up your game girls.... (She was no spring Chicken and looked like an old nugget but she was definitely top of the pecking order!)
After being in full Wattle Chick2 came up with the best plan ever..... A Bacon Buttie at a human establishment at the side of the park... Chick1 yet again attracted an old Rooster and appeared to spur him on as he hotfooted the trolley around Chick1 eyeballing her all the way.... Chick1 didn't walk on any egg shells and replied i don't fancy your Wattle much mate..... where does she go wrong?!
After being in full Wattle Chick2 came up with the best plan ever..... A Bacon Buttie at a human establishment at the side of the park... Chick1 yet again attracted an old Rooster and appeared to spur him on as he hotfooted the trolley around Chick1 eyeballing her all the way.... Chick1 didn't walk on any egg shells and replied i don't fancy your Wattle much mate..... where does she go wrong?!
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